Sunday, February 27, 2011

Basix Dong

 The Basix Dong from Eden Fantasys, still in its packaging. It looks... okay... like this.

 Here it is without its wrapping. It's certainly bigger than a breadbox. If only I could share with you the scent and texture of this thing. On the other hand, be grateful that you've been spared.

This is the ... gook? ... left in the plastic container after I took the toy out. If it looks like this, you can just imagine how slimy the toy itself is. Perhaps this is what all-natural, blah-blah-blah rubber looks and smells like, but it's a serious turnoff.


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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Screaming O Super Powered Bullet

Recently, I was contacted by Their Toys, an adult toys shop, asking me if I'd be willing to review a toy for them. I didn't know the company, but I'm always glad to try out new companies and see what they offer and how they work.

The first toy they sent me was a kind of rubber finger vibe designed to hold a bullet inside. Unfortunately, the bullet vibe was broken. Something was wrong with the bullet's internal connectors, and it was hard to make it do its buzzy dance. This is often true of vibrators that are sold with the batteries already in when there's no protector -- the batteries get old or corrode and somehow damage the internal workings. Or, of course, it could have just been a dud toy (they happen, often, as a matter of fact, and it's no comment on the quality of the seller when the toy doesn't work).

I let the company know, and they quickly sent me something else -- a Screaming O Super Powered Bullet. This plastic mini-vibe can be used alone or tucked inside the aforementioned ring vibe. It's got a lot of rev, the button on the end is simple to use, and it's waterproof, which is an added bonus. It also comes in a variety of yummy colors -- mine's a very pretty purple, and it looks all shiny and nice among my array of toys. Finally, it fits nicely into most of the toys that I already own that take bullet vibes, including a number of anal vibes and finger vibes.

However, it does only have one speed, so there's not a lot of variety if you're someone who desires a number of vibratory options. Super powered? Maybe. The speed's got a decent amount of rev, and it isn't terribly loud for the amount of power, which is a bonus if you plan on traveling or trying to use this when you've got a houseful of people.

The vibe does take watch batteries, which is something that I truly wish toy manufacturers would stop doing. Watch batteries are expensive, they're not rechargeable, and they never last as long as the companies say they do (I got about 45 minutes out of mine, as compared to the 80+ minutes that the website promises. Of course, your mileage may vary, depending on how old the batteries are and how long they've been inside the toy).

Overall, the Screaming O is a fine bullet vibe. Clean, simple, not a lot of bells and whistles. The packaging is small and discrete. And it's at a pretty spot-on price for just $6.99. It would be a great stocking stuffer for a loved/lusted one, or for yourself. Personally, if I used a lot of bullet vibes, I would consider these a decent option for backups. In fact, it's probably cheaper to buy a couple of these vibes to keep on hand than it is to replace the watch batteries (no comment on the environmental impact of those choices, because I really don't know how they'd wash out).

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Vibrating Heated Nipple Clamps

The vibrating, warming nipple clamps from California Exotics.

The clamps themselves. They have a wide adjustment rate, from oooh, nice all the way to ow, ow, ow, OW!


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Crotchless Harness w/ 2 Dongs

The crotchless harness from California Exotics SHOULD be the perfect beginner's harness. Unfortunately, it falls a wee bit short. To say the least. 

Dildo number two. Quite realistic, as you can probably see.

Respective size, as compared to a standard deck of cards. They actually, impossibly, look larger than they are in this photo.

The leather itself. Leaves a wee bit to be desired...

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Reach

The Reach, a platinum silicone dildo by Doc Johnson, is a bendable, easy-to-use, easy-to-clean toy that's perfect for beginners and advanced users alike. Read the entire review soon on Eden Fantasys. 

 The packaging for the toy is about as simple and plain as it gets: paper and plastic. And once you open the box, you can't close it again, so it's sadly no reusable.

 The size and length as compared to a standard deck of cards. It doesn't have much in the way of a handle, but it's about seven inches total in length.

And... sex toy by night, broken antenna by day. The Reach will now be part of my lady bug costume for Halloween! Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home!


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Friday, October 8, 2010

Sheer Thigh Highs & Elbow-Length Gloves

Earlier this year, I took a burlesque class. This class, taught by a professional burlesque dancer and choreographer, was nothing like the pole dancing class that I took a few years back. The pole dancing class was very much "breathe and play with the it" while the burlesque class was more business- and end result-focused, in some ways. As in, "this is how you move your body and use the props in order to entice, enhance, tease and create a presence on stage."

I wasn't great at the pole dancing -- I'm shy, and wee bit clumsy, especially in ridiculous heels -- but I wasn't awful either. I can move, I'm athletic, and I'm willing to try risky things like jumping up and sliding down a pole by my legs.

However, I was really bad at burlesque dancing. I think I could get better, with time and practice (just like I did with step class and eventually salsa dancing) but in a three-hour class, I mostly just felt uncomfortable, out of place and confused. This was no fault of the teacher or the class at all -- both were great -- it was that I was so far out of my element that I flushed, fumbled and fell on my face (not literally, but you know.).

Still, I was intrigued and excited. There was something I liked about cocking the hat on my head, whip-cracking the boa through the air as I pulled it off my neck, and tugging the gloves off with my teeth that I liked. A lot. If only I could learn how to do it at home, in the presence of just me, so that I could get over the extreme self-consciousness that I felt.

And, lo and behold, offered to help me do just that. To let me play around and learn my, ahem, skillset, they sent me white, sheer thigh highs with a seam up the back, as well as a pair of elbow-length white satin gloves.

Typically, I wouldn't chose white. I gravitate toward black or red as a rule, but when I pulled the stockings out of the package, they looked so... innocent that they actually were sexy. It's like the school girl outfit or the plain white undies -- they're so sweet and innocent that they highlight the inherent sexiness of a person.

As to fit, I have big calves and fairly big thighs, so stockings are always hit or miss. These were definitely a hit -- they were snug over my calves without cutting in, the line up the back was easy to keep straight, and while the top of the thigh-highs rolled once they were on my thighs, they didn't roll as badly as most (and if anyone knows the serious secret for keeping thigh-highs up on thick thighs, I'd love to hear it!). They're very soft feeling as well, and thick enough that putting them on, playing around with the while taking photos and strip-teasing them off didn't do any damage to them at all.

Ditto with the white gloves. So white you just WANT to muck them up, and satiny soft to boot. The bit of stretch in the material means that they go on and stay on, but that you don't lose any feeling in your fingers from bad circulation. The stitching is nice quality, and the material's not terriblythick, either, so you can actually feel through them, which is always good when you're talking about toys for sex.

Now, that's how they go on. But the real question is how do they go off? I'm sure you won't be surprised if I admit that the first time I wore them, we barely got through the photos before we were doing other things. Oops. The tease would have to wait until next time.

Okay, time two. The gloves are perfect for teasing off -- they hook over the elbow, but not so tightly that you can't pull them off with your teeth. The secret to this trick is making sure there's a little loose fabric at the end of your fingers so that you have something to grab onto and pull with. Of course, with white fabric, you probably want to keep the lipstick to a minimum. Pull each finger off part way with your teeth, so the glove hangs loose on your hand, then pull it off the rest of the way. Growling is, of course, an option. Catch the end in your hand as it slides off, and you can then use it as a mini-whip or as something to drape around your partner's neck and pull him closer.

The stockings were a little harder to do with dignity. They roll off really easily, of course, because they're thigh-highs and, on me at least, they were already starting to roll almost as soon as I put them on. Then they got saggy-baggy around the ankles and I didn't know quite what to do with them (also, I should have taken the shoes off first, but let's pretend I didn't just admit that). I really blame that on user error, however, and not the stockings, as they stayed white and silky and strong the whole way.

So, overall? Both of these are winners. Really nice quality, sexy in their own innocent-white way, and delightful not just to put on and wear, but also to take off. Now, if I could just get my hat to stay on my head at the proper teasing angle...

Thanks again to for the chance to play!

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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Egg Ecstacy

I love the feeling of being powerless, the idea that someone else has their hand on all of my buttons, and I can't do anything about it. A toy like this -- a remote-controlled vibrating egg -- is one of the ultimate ways to play with that idea of giving up control.

There was just one wee little problem...

Read the entire review over at Eden Fantasys soon and discover why I was begging the boy to "leggo the eggo!"

The very simple, but not all that enticing, packaging.

The egg and the controller, sized next to a standard deck of cards. The cord is slightly longer than what's shown in the picture.

Just the egg, as compared to the cards. Here, you can see the seam around the middle where it's hooked together. Be sure to wash that part especially well, and watch to be sure there are no bits of sharp plastic along the seam.


The controller. It's not as plasticy as it looks at first glance.

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