Basix Dong

Basix Dong

 The Basix Dong from Eden Fantasys, still in its packaging. It looks... okay... like this.

 Here it is without its wrapping. It's certainly bigger than a breadbox. If only I could share with you the scent and texture of this thing. On the other hand, be grateful that you've been spared.

This is the ... gook? ... left in the plastic container after I took the toy out. If it looks like this, you can just imagine how slimy the toy itself is. Perhaps this is what all-natural, blah-blah-blah rubber looks and smells like, but it's a serious turnoff.

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Screaming O Super Powered Bullet

Screaming O Super Powered Bullet

Recently, I was contacted by Their Toys, an adult toys shop, asking me if I'd be willing to review a toy for them. I didn't know the company, but I'm always glad to try out new companies and see what they offer and how they work.

The first toy they sent me was a kind of rubber finger vibe designed to hold a bullet inside. Unfortunately, the bullet vibe was broken. Something was wrong with the bullet's internal connectors, and it was hard to make it do its buzzy dance. This is often true of vibrators that are sold with the batteries already in when there's no protector -- the batteries get old or corrode and somehow damage the internal workings. Or, of course, it could have just been a dud toy (they happen, often, as a matter of fact, and it's no comment on the quality of the seller when the toy doesn't work).


I let the company know, and they quickly sent me something else -- a Screaming O Super Powered Bullet. This plastic mini-vibe can be used alone or tucked inside the aforementioned ring vibe. It's got a lot of rev, the button on the end is simple to use, and it's waterproof, which is an added bonus. It also comes in a variety of yummy colors -- mine's a very pretty purple, and it looks all shiny and nice among my array of toys. Finally, it fits nicely into most of the toys that I already own that take bullet vibes, including a number of anal vibes and finger vibes.


However, it does only have one speed, so there's not a lot of variety if you're someone who desires a number of vibratory options. Super powered? Maybe. The speed's got a decent amount of rev, and it isn't terribly loud for the amount of power, which is a bonus if you plan on traveling or trying to use this when you've got a houseful of people.

The vibe does take watch batteries, which is something that I truly wish toy manufacturers would stop doing. Watch batteries are expensive, they're not rechargeable, and they never last as long as the companies say they do (I got about 45 minutes out of mine, as compared to the 80+ minutes that the website promises. Of course, your mileage may vary, depending on how old the batteries are and how long they've been inside the toy).

Overall, the Screaming O is a fine bullet vibe. Clean, simple, not a lot of bells and whistles. The packaging is small and discrete. And it's at a pretty spot-on price for just $6.99. It would be a great stocking stuffer for a loved/lusted one, or for yourself. Personally, if I used a lot of bullet vibes, I would consider these a decent option for backups. In fact, it's probably cheaper to buy a couple of these vibes to keep on hand than it is to replace the watch batteries (no comment on the environmental impact of those choices, because I really don't know how they'd wash out).

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Floggerella

Floggerella

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved leather. If someone said the word, she would practically start drooling. When some man near her slid his fingers along his big leather belt, she was pretty sure she'd gone to heaven. Once, she got to watch someone clean a leather saddle and the smell of it, the sight, even the soft sound of a cloth moving over the curves of leather -- was enough to make her live happily ever after...

Okay, so it's not a fairy tale so much as it's a slight obsession that I have with leather.

My obsession is so bad, that recently the Boy started wearing a deodorant that smells like leather just to tease me. Now, I can't stop sniffing him. It's addicting. He, of course, thinks it's hysterically funny and he laughs when I do it. And then keeps on wearing it, all in that evil way that sadists have.

I'm just telling you all of that so that you know to take any of my leather-based toy reviews with a grain of salt. After all, I'm already biased toward the thing, just by its very nature.

That being said, it shouldn't surprise you that I've become a fairly big fan of this fairy-tale version of floggers, the Floggerella (by Leatherbeaten).

MATERIALS

Why fairy tale? Well, the name, of course. But also that it comes in three colors -- most of them fairly fairy tale-ish. Pink and purple and black. (Not being much of a girly-girl, I chose the black one. Of course.)

But it's also tiny, like something a fairy godmother might wave around. If she had a sadistic streak, that is.

This flogger is incredibly small and light -- it doesn't weigh anything at all. The handle seems to be made of a hollow plastic (addendum: after being hit with the handle, I'm not sure if it's all that hollow; see below), and the leather lashes are thin and soft. Measuring a total of about a foot and a half in length, the leather strips themselves take up nearly twelve of those eighteen inches, and they have a suede-ish feel on one side and more of a snakeskin look on the other.

The material and texture of the strips -- like suede on one side, like grained leather on the other.

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The fact that it didn't have any heft made me wonder if it was cheaply made. So I fiddled around with the leather strips and the handle and off the connecting points for a bit, to try and see if anything came loose or fell apart. It seems sturdy and well put together, despite all of my tugging and yanking. There is a wrist strap at the end, but we didn't use it during play; it does however, make it easy to hang the toy off door knobs and hooks.

Size and shape, as compared to a deck of standard playing cards. It's incredibly small and light-weight. Kind of like a fairy godmother's wand. A rather sadistic, dressed-in-black fairy godmother, but still.

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PLAYTIME

So, if we're still talking fairy tales, you could call me the Princess and the Pea. I'm tender and I bruise easily. Which is, of course, just the way I want it.

If you're like me, and crave that intense combination of pain and pleasure, then this flogger will probably walk the line for you. It takes a pretty hard swing to get any real pain out of it and the sting is fairly mild (Note: I understand that the other colors are different kinds of leather, and thus differ in their intensity, so that's a good thing to keep in mind if you're looking to buy one).

When used on the ass and back, the sting is fairly mild. If you're going for a harder sting, I found the best places were the inside of the thighs, the stomach, the soles of the feet, and the breasts. The Boy said he found it slightly difficult to aim with, perhaps because the handle really doesn't have any weight, so it wasn't balanced that well for harder or higher swings.

Overall, this flogger does make some nice welts, if either you or your partner are into the visual appeal of flogging. It also makes a nice crack against the skin, although it's not super-loud. In fact, I had to force myself to stay quiet and quit crying out, so that we could listen to it better. It makes a good sound, I'll admit, but the Boy says it's not as good as the sound that it makes me make, so he doesn't care.

If you turn it over -- meaning if you hold the handle near the flogger end and whack someone with the actual plastic handle -- it's going to hurt like hell. Yes, voice of experience. Granted, it's not made for that, and the Boy says it's kind of hard to hold onto, but the sensation -- and the remaining welt -- is very much like being hit with a small, wicked cane.

One total bonus to this flogger: I've never before understood the appeal of soft things on my skin. Feathers and light touches tickle, most other gentle things are just plain irritating. But this flogger somehow has the perfect build for a gentle touch. The Boy dragged it lightly down my back and it felt like an amazing massage. I could have lain there for hours and let him flow the leather across my skin. I have no idea how this works, what magic or science makes the leather strips just that soft and smooth that it does this to me, but there it is. Talk about sleeping beauty...

The fairly light stroke marks left on the top of my leg by the Floggerella. They're actually more prominent than they look in this photo, and they grew more pink after the photo was taken.

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THE BEAST BARES HIS TEETH

What would any fairy tale be without a Prince? Or, more likely in this case: A Beast?

The Boy wanted to throw his twelve cents in, so here it is. The Floggerella from the Dom's perspective:

When I was asked to give my thoughts on the Floggerella, I was a bit skeptical.  Alright, I'm lying, I was incredibly skeptical.  A single look at this rather 'limp-wristed' stick/pleather combination simply screamed 'I promise I won't hurt you.'

It turns out that I was right and I was wrong.  Of course, I'll only admit to one of them.

So, first, we'll get the good out of the way. The toy is light-weight enough to be slid into just about anything you can think of for travel.  After all, anything that could be carried in anything from a back-pocket to an umbrella cover is perfect for the impromptu encounter.  It's surprisingly durable, and I happen to think that I have a penchant for being a little rough.  No matter how much force (or how little, for that matter) you put into the swing, it's guaranteed to have a rather satisfying 'snap' in result. 

The thing that nearly (yes, nearly) sold me on it is the simplicity of it.  After all, it's merely a stick with a few straps of 'leather' to it.  All it takes is a little imagination and a little patience to find all sorts of uses on your partner – Certainly a few that the manufacturer never intended.  It's just as effective dragging the leather tips across a set of curves than it is marring them.  And, if caning is your speed, the handle makes a very effective rod.

Overall, as much as I'm about to tear Floggerella apart in the following paragraphs, I rather like the toy.  Light-weight.  Simple.  Effective. Durable.  Portable.  The sound it makes on contact with skin alone gets stellar marks from me. 

Now.  The bad.  When I said it looked 'limp-wristed,' I meant it:  The thing looks and feels like it came out of only the finest sweatshops the Far East has to offer.  That's not to say that it's Thrift Store quality, but it certainly feels like it.  If I'm going to be holding something over a restrained partner, panting for more, I want to feel like I'm actually holding something with heft, not a feather.  (Then again, the feather has some uses, as well.)

And looks?  Certainly, in hand, it's a rather sexy – if simple – tool, but my first thought is that it seems to be a swizzle-stick with leather tails wrapped in electrical tape.  I didn't know whether I should stir desire or stir coffee.  Still, again, simplicity can sometimes be the best path.  As with any toy, it's down to whatever your preference may be

And, finally, my last complaint (I swear!), I truly don't feel any weight behind this toy. Because there isn't.  No matter how hard you swing, or satisfying the 'snap,'  it's seemingly designed to deliver the least amount of pain.  Only after repeated lashings does it show a mark on even the lightest skintone.  I don't care if you're a descendant of Hercules, you're going to feel a tad kittenish.  After using it in several 'sessions,' I'm utterly convinced that this toy is meant to be all bark, no bite.

In the end, I'm trying my damnedest to be either for or against this particular piece, but I can't.  It accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do:  It's a simple, easily-accessible, non-threatening toy for both the experienced and novice BDSM practitioner, and makes a nice addition to anyone's toychest.

I merely wish it had a set of teeth as opposed to dentures.

CARE & FEEDING

The plastic handle can be easily wiped clean with a warm washcloth. The leather can be treated the same way. Do be careful about getting things like lube on the leather, however. We got some on the suede side and it took a bit of elbow grease to get it clean. Because the strips are so thin, they seem to dry pretty fast, though, and it didn't stain the black leather.

This is another one of those toys that's incredibly easy both to care for and to store. You can throw it anywhere, really. It's fairly indestructible, the handle doesn't seem breakable, and the leather strips don't get tangled. We tend to keep ours tucked between the mattress and the headboard, where it's within easy reach. You could also easily hang it up by the wrist strap, which is big enough to fit over most doorknobs and bedposts.

IN A NUTSHELL

PROS: Portable and packable, easy to care for and clean. Sensation varies from a flowing massage to a medium-intensity sting.

CONS: Could provide more of a snap and crackle, both in terms of pain and noise. The handle could be stronger/heftier/prettier/more substantial.

OVERALL: 4Ms

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Rose Petals Explosion

Rose Petals Explosion

Are you an old-world romantic? Got a thing for pretty petals and pretty spaces? Then you might have more fun than I did with the Rose Petals Explosion kit (by Bijoux Indiscrets). 

Read the entire review here!

The packaging is pretty enough -- a simple cardboard box that's both upscale and sexy. 

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Here's where the packaging starts to break down -- this is the back of the box. Now, granted, it's very cool that it's in multiple languages, but this is the only writing there is. At all. Nothing about the petals' materials, size, or shape. And definitely nothing about how you might go about using them. 

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The petals packaged inside. This inner bit slides out of the outer package. Again, really simple and pretty, but there's not much to it.

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The petals out of their box. They come in sets that you have to pull apart before you can use them.

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The average size and shape of the petals, which are about the same size as the outer petals of an actual rose. (The color's a little off here, by the way. They're actually less orange and more red -- I think it's due to the bathroom light.)

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IN A NUTSHELL

PROS: Pretty. Scent's not cloying. Good for creative, romantic types.
CONS: No suggestions for care or use. The edges come unraveled.

OVERALL: 3M

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Toy Covers

Toy Covers

When it comes to sex, having the right tools can be nearly as important as having the right partner. If you're looking for a way to keep your small- to medium-sized sex toys clean, safe and shareable, these unlubricated latex toy covers by Cal Exotics may be just the thing for the job.

SAFE & SOUND

MATERIALS

Easy-to-open packages make these covers easy to get at in the midst of the action. They're also easy to roll on, without the stickiness that comes from pre-lubed items.
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Made of a really thick latex, these covers seem small when they come out of the pack, but they really have a lot of stretch to them. They fit over most of the toys in my toybox, including plugs and vibes. For some of the smaller toys, such as the Little Flirt, they're too long --- there's a lot of leftover still rolled up around the base of the toy. Which isn't actually a problem, because you can't really feel it, but it's something I noticed. The only thing they can't handle is the larger toys and anything with a serious g-spot bend -- they covers are just not long enough. (There is, however, a larger size, which I haven't tried, but my guess is that those will handle the job just fine).

One thing to note: They're easier to get on than they are to get off. Thus, I actually had to cut it off one of the thicker toys because I couldn't get the cover to roll off. And this was without them having lube or anything on it to make it slipperier.

They don't have much smell or taste at all, which is a pleasant touch. The color is a sort of lilac/pink combination -- very pastel and when you look at a cover unrolled, it appears quite dark. However, once you roll it over a toy, it only adds a slight purple hue to the item. I do buy my toys at least in part for a prettiness factor, however, and I wish these covers came in a clear option -- then I could protect my toy while still seeing its natural color shine through.

Another really nice thing: They don't come pre-lubricated, which means that you can use a water-based or silicone lube of your choice. (I actually wish condoms came this way more often, since a lot of lubes don't work for me). I used them with both Slippery Stuff and Astroglide Gel and the material worked really nicely with them both.

PERFORMANCE

These thick latex covers are small, but they stretch to fit almost any small to medium sized sex toy, including thick and odd-shaped anal toys like The Screw.

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To me, safer sex items should be a little like that old adage about children: they should be neither seen nor heard, but should do their job and do it well (okay, so I just combined an old, out-of-date and useless adage with something akin to child labor, but you get my point. Maybe.). All function, no bells and whistles, in other words. And that's just what these covers are. Roll them on, lube them up, then play away, knowing that they're keeping your toys -- and you -- clean and safe and sound. Then you throw them away and start all over again.

While these covers aren't likely to enhance your sex life by giving you mind-blowing orgasms by themselves, they can enhance your state of mind and make you feel comfortable and clean, which sometimes can make all the difference.

IN A NUTSHELL

PROS: Thick, stretchy, dependable. Makes play and clean up easy.
CONS: It would be nice if they came in a clear option. Slightly expensive (compared to condoms).

OVERALL: 4Ms

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