Earlier this year, I took a burlesque class. This class, taught by a professional burlesque dancer and choreographer, was nothing like the pole dancing class that I took a few years back. The pole dancing class was very much "breathe and play with the it" while the burlesque class was more business- and end result-focused, in some ways. As in, "this is how you move your body and use the props in order to entice, enhance, tease and create a presence on stage."
I wasn't great at the pole dancing -- I'm shy, and wee bit clumsy, especially in ridiculous heels -- but I wasn't awful either. I can move, I'm athletic, and I'm willing to try risky things like jumping up and sliding down a pole by my legs.
However, I was really bad at burlesque dancing. I think I could get better, with time and practice (just like I did with step class and eventually salsa dancing) but in a three-hour class, I mostly just felt uncomfortable, out of place and confused. This was no fault of the teacher or the class at all -- both were great -- it was that I was so far out of my element that I flushed, fumbled and fell on my face (not literally, but you know.).
Still, I was intrigued and excited. There was something I liked about cocking the hat on my head, whip-cracking the boa through the air as I pulled it off my neck, and tugging the gloves off with my teeth that I liked. A lot. If only I could learn how to do it at home, in the presence of just me, so that I could get over the extreme self-consciousness that I felt.
And, lo and behold,
lingerie.com offered to help me do just that. To let me play around and learn my, ahem, skillset, they sent me
white, sheer thigh highs with a seam up the back, as well as
a pair of elbow-length white satin gloves.
Typically, I wouldn't chose white. I gravitate toward black or red as a rule, but when I pulled the stockings out of the package, they looked so... innocent that they actually were sexy. It's like the school girl outfit or the plain white undies -- they're so sweet and innocent that they highlight the inherent sexiness of a person.
As to fit, I have big calves and fairly big thighs, so stockings are always hit or miss. These were definitely a hit -- they were snug over my calves without cutting in, the line up the back was easy to keep straight, and while the top of the thigh-highs rolled once they were on my thighs, they didn't roll as badly as most (and if anyone knows the serious secret for keeping thigh-highs up on thick thighs, I'd love to hear it!). They're very soft feeling as well, and thick enough that putting them on, playing around with the while taking photos and strip-teasing them off didn't do any damage to them at all.
Ditto with the white gloves. So white you just WANT to muck them up, and satiny soft to boot. The bit of stretch in the material means that they go on and stay on, but that you don't lose any feeling in your fingers from bad circulation. The stitching is nice quality, and the material's not terriblythick, either, so you can actually feel through them, which is always good when you're talking about toys for sex.
Now, that's how they go on. But the real question is how do they go off? I'm sure you won't be surprised if I admit that the first time I wore them, we barely got through the photos before we were doing other things. Oops. The tease would have to wait until next time.
Okay, time two. The gloves are perfect for teasing off -- they hook over the elbow, but not so tightly that you can't pull them off with your teeth. The secret to this trick is making sure there's a little loose fabric at the end of your fingers so that you have something to grab onto and pull with. Of course, with white fabric, you probably want to keep the lipstick to a minimum. Pull each finger off part way with your teeth, so the glove hangs loose on your hand, then pull it off the rest of the way. Growling is, of course, an option. Catch the end in your hand as it slides off, and you can then use it as a mini-whip or as something to drape around your partner's neck and pull him closer.
The stockings were a little harder to do with dignity. They roll off really easily, of course, because they're thigh-highs and, on me at least, they were already starting to roll almost as soon as I put them on. Then they got saggy-baggy around the ankles and I didn't know quite what to do with them (also, I should have taken the shoes off first, but let's pretend I didn't just admit that). I really blame that on user error, however, and not the stockings, as they stayed white and silky and strong the whole way.
So, overall? Both of these are winners. Really nice quality, sexy in their own innocent-white way, and delightful not just to put on and wear, but also to take off. Now, if I could just get my hat to stay on my head at the proper teasing angle...
Thanks again to
lingerie.com for the chance to play!
