Key To Your Butt

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Key To Your Butt

At my house, there are some toys that, as soon as they arrive, ilicit "oohs" and "aahs" and calls of "Mine! Dibs!" Toys like The Screw, which was beautifully packaged and obviously hand-made with love and care. Or like this gorgeous glass butt plug, which came with its own pretty holding bag and is so shiny-pretty that it now holds a place of honor on the coffee table.

Sadly, the Key to Your Butt was not one of those toys. From the name and the packaging -- simple cardboard and plastic, with a woman on the front who is so clearly ass-manipulated that she almost looks like a cartoon character -- to the slightly sticky, rather cheap feel of the toy once it escaped its confines, this toy didn't get high marks right off the bat.

I decided to keep an open mind, however, because you just never know. Sometimes the prettiest, nicest dressed toys end up doing nothing, and vice versa.

Did this key unlock my lust? Find out here!

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Does anyone besides Jessica Rabbit have a butt like that? Oh, wait, she's not real either.

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Size, as it relates to a standard pack of cards. It's about the same thickness.

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The "key ring" end of the probe. Which is actually plastic. And not a key ring at all.

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Just because I couldn't resist -- I had to cut it open to see what was inside it. Two things of note: First, if I'm cutting a toy open to see what it's made of, then you pretty much know what I think of it. Namely, I'm never going to use again. Second, it's just another piece of material (I'm guessing more PVC) inside, but it's separate from and smaller than the outer piece, which is part of what gives it the feeling that it's neither solid nor well-made. 

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IN A NUTSHELL


PROS: Could be good for first-time anal play.
CONS: Feels cheaply made. The "key" bit seems to be just a gimmick. The end makes me nervous.

OVERALL: 1M

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